How was your Christmas?

My tree is down. Presents are in use or safely stored somewhere. And I realize that this Christmas marks a turning point, much as most of the past year has done. I think that from now on, Christmas won't be the same. But first, a summary of Christmas 2009.

It was a white Christmas. A rarity for Dallas/Fort Worth, but it happened. It snowed a good part of Christmas Eve day, and it hung around for a bit on Christmas. It was my first Christmas engaged. Never been engaged before. And that status allowed me to gain access to my beloved's family activities.

They gathered at Mom's house Christmas Eve to exchange presents. Joe, Becky and Brennan; Aunt Judy; Sarah, Hayden and Tyler; Mom, Sandy and I all gathered around the tree. We said a prayer, and the gifts were slowly disbursed, from youngest to oldest, allowing each person to show off their gift and allow the others to admire it. We had agreed to focus on gifts for the kids, as money was tight all around. Still, there were a few presents given to the parents, too. Soon the room was filled with torn wrapping paper and opened boxes. Toys were clutched in little hands, and words of thanks were spread around the room.

Time came for dinner to be served. Turkey and the trimmings were set before us, and soon the air was filled with laughter as Christmas memories were brought to life. Memories of people no longer with us. Memories of simpler times. We all had our fill and cleared the table as toys resurfaced and the fire was stoked. People left as concern for the weather and roads prompted a hasty exodus. A 30-minute trip home turned into a several-hour ordeal as Joe, Becky and Brennan found the roads to be worse than they thought. I helped Aunt Judy get her motorized cart into her van and safely on her way for her short drive home. I learned later she would need help getting to her apartment because her van wouldn't release the scooter that was placed inside it. I had planned ahead and was prepared to spend the night, avoiding the traffic and sharing Christmas Day with my beloved, Sandy.

A night of tossing and turning gave way to a morning of happy boys, as they realized that Santa had come! More gifts and toys that had come from grandparents awaited their small hands . Oh the paper and boxes again covered the floor! Batteries were inserted or charged, and sounds of laughter arose again. It was all for them, and it was a joy to see them caught up in the avalanche of fun.

Witnessing all these gifts being opened and enjoyed led me to consider some of my Christmases past. As I thought back over my 40 years, only a few moments truly stood out. The first year we spent Christmas with my mom and step-dad and learned of his tradition to make stockings from panty hose filled with nuts, candy and presents. They were six feet long and tied to the banister! An impressive sight for a boy of 13 or so. Then I remembered the year, when I was much younger, that I hadn't bought a present for my step-mother. I had found something in a cabinet, wrapped it up, and claimed it was a new gift. This gift didn't cost me anything, and to this day I struggle to understand why I did what I did. There were other Christmases I recall being alone. Perhaps I went somewhere for dinner, and perhaps they had a simple gift for me. But I was very much alone. I know I was last year.

Ah! But as I said, I am engaged, and next Christmas, when we are husband and wife, we will still gather Christmas Eve for family Christmas. But then Christmas morning 2010, Sandy and I will awake to the start of our own Christmas, with some borrowed and some new traditions for how to spend the day. We will remember the first Gift - God's Son given to man - so that man could once again have a relationship with his Creator. And we will reflect on how much He loves us, and how much we love our family. And whether there is one gift to open or twenty, we will be grateful for His gift to us, and the gift that we are to each other.

And that is a Christmas memory I won't soon forget!

Where did the time go?

Most modern technology was created to help Americans save time. Kitchen appliances are supposed to make Mom's (or Dad's) job easier or faster. Access to the internet was to make the exchange of information faster. Cars were designed and improved to travel farther and faster. So where is all this time going? Weren't we promised more time for leisure activities or family time?

We all seem to be living increasingly crowded lives, yet we don't crowd them with relationships. We've limited human interaction so transactions go faster. Why go in the bank when you can use the ATM? Or stay in your car so you don't bump into anyone! At home, microwave ovens have sped up meal preparation, but what happened to the interaction with our moms when we were kids. Watching her make something. Asking questions. Playing a game while we waited for something to cook.

Instead of using our time to interact and invest in one another, we're working later or scheduling more activities, often spreading our family out to various venues. TV schedules force us to cut short our conversations, or we squeeze it into a 3-minute commercial break. DVR's actually add to the problem, as now you can fill all your time and watch shows in chunks as you have moments.

Rather than walk or take public transportation, we climb into our private carriages and navigate the streets. We forget there are other people in those boxes, and we consider it normal to react in ways that we would never act to another person. We've isolated ourselves so much we don't know how to interact when face to face with a stranger.

So what is our response? What can we do to take back or redeem our time? How do we renew social contact with our fellow man? It was a gradual slide, so we need a gradual rise back to connection.

Smile. Our fast-paced lives don't allow for much, so we should simply smile more. Show those around you that you recognize their humanity. You can add a wave, too, if you can manage it.

Ask someone about their day. Then listen to their response. I've used this as I work at Chick-fil-A. Many people's countenance changes when someone expresses interest in them. When someone asks you, move beyond "Fine." Be vulnerable. Explain why your day is fine. Or share where you're struggling. Who knows; you might make a friend!

Use your conveniences to build relationships, not do more "stuff." Many time-saving devices can be used to help build relationships instead of allowing us to cram our schedules full. Save time in one area so you can spend it meaningfully with someone else.

If we all take small steps, we can go a long way toward drawing closer together.

When were you going to tell me?

It's been awhile since I wrote anything on this. I started part-time work last week at Chick-fil-A, and Sandy and I have set a wedding date: March 21, 2010, at the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens. While that's all good information to send your way, I was presented with a twist this morning, and I needed to share it with others.

I received an email this morning from my mother. She was forwarding a message my dad had sent to her. They've been divorced for years, so they don't communicate very often. He was telling her that one of my cousins was killed in an accident recently. The part that bothers me is that this was the first I'd heard of it. That's right. My dad chose not to notify me directly.

We've never been a very close family, but I thought that I would rate higher and be told more directly. So now I'm sitting here trying to overcome my feelings of grief and frustration over the message and means. Am I being unreasonable? Am I getting upset over nothing? I honestly don't know! Please leave comments to help me process this.

I'm still building the emotional strength to contact my father about this. I appreciate your prayers.

When is the Wedding?

I think that rates as the most frequently asked question since announcing our engagement just over a week ago. Take a moment to read my previous post if you haven't. It will help with this one.

I always thought that what my future bride wanted would be what my wedding would be like. I expected her to have detailed plans for the day, and I would just ask her what to wear, where to stand when, and when to say or do something. But I'm finding that Sandy wants it to reflect me as much as her. And I'm feeling overwhelmed by the cost.

Sandy is awesome, and I love her a great deal. But I find that talking about wedding options and preferences stresses me out. I want it to be what she wants, but rather than enjoy the excitement and just brainstorm, my mind can only think in numbers, especially money. I try my best to not ask, "How much will that cost?" with every idea. I know that we'll find ways to keep costs down and have an awesome wedding day, but I still feel unprepared for what's coming.

I suppose the biggest issue I have is that we both work for non-profits, and my current situation has me drawing a very minimal salary. I can mange basic expenses, but I certainly can't start saving for a wedding. And I want to. I really want to be socking away cash for that day so I can be sure that our day is everything we both want it to be. I can handle living on the cheap when it's just me, but I really want to provide for our needs. I know we have a God who loves us and cares about our deepest needs. But sometimes that's little comfort when you can't afford flowers for your beloved.

Before you start (or continue?) feeling sorry for me, let me stop and say that I chose to be in this situation, and I know that Sandy doesn't expect to me give her every little thing. I know she's just as content as I am doing what she loves. But a switch was thrown the day I realized I truly love her. From that day, I've wanted to give her flowers and other presents. I wanted to take her to nice restaurants or go out on the town. The fact that she doesn't expect those things makes me want to do it even more. And it makes me want to give her the wedding she wants.

I have to remind myself that I don't have to have all the money today. And I have time to find creative (read "free" or minimal expense) ways to make the day wonderful. And I'm prepared to sacrifice some things right now for other things in the future. That's what love does, and that's what I'll do. Because I love Sandy Baker. No matter what!

Oh, and we're thinking sometime in the spring, maybe March or early April.

Will You Marry Me?

Will you marry me?

I had decided that I was content with being single. But six months ago, God brought Miss Sandy Lynn Baker into my life, and it changed forever. We were certain that we would eventually marry. We took turns being cautious and aggressive as things developed. The first weekend of September 2009, things came to a turning point.

My parents were passing through on their move from Washington to Florida. Friday night they came over to my place, and we started talking. At one point I showed them the ring that Sandy and I had had made. We used materials from her mother's rings and my mother's rings to craft her engagement ring and my wedding band. Both my parents thought it was beautiful, and so pleased that the diamonds worked well together. Randy asked why she wasn't wearing it yet. I came up with a line about how we were in no hurry, and I was trying to find the right words. He said, "will you marry me? Seems easy." It was at that moment that I began to wonder just what I was waiting for.

Sandy came over Saturday, and we spent the afternoon getting to know each other. I spent most of the day basking in the love of my mother and Sandy as the concerns and fears evaporated. We had a great time, and I was certain that I wanted to propose much sooner than I initially intended. After my parents went back to their hotel, Sandy and I discussed the day and reflected on some of the things my mom had said.

Sunday morning I decided to put the ring in my bag before leaving for church. I'd been going to Sandy's house after church to eat and just relax, eagerly waiting for football season to arrive. I knew that she would want me to propose in a more private setting, so I didn't bother to bring the ring inside. During the service, the pastor asked if I would be willing to share my story, how God redeemed me and my mission service. Being a missionary, I was prepared to do that, and gave an account of my conversion and a brief synopsis of my mission career. I'm glad that I got to do that on the day of our engagement, and I credit it to God that it even happened.

We went home after the service and were trying to decide what to do. I suggested we do some more questions, and maybe arrange to go see the sunset if possible. We've been working through the book "101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged". Sandy had recently assured me we didn't have to finish it before I asked, but I had hoped we would. We had to stop in the 90's to make dinner if we were going to make sunset.

Before leaving the house, I had taken the ring out of its box and put it in my pocket. Driving to the lake, the sky was gorgeous. I knew we would have an awesome sunset. As we pulled into a parking place overlooking the lake, the sun was just touching the horizon. We watched one of the best sunsets we've seen together, then sat there enjoying the moment. Sandy noticed my heart rate was up and asked if I was ok. I was doing my best to take deep calming breaths, but I figured she suspected. I started talking about how I had wanted to come up with the perfect words to say to her before I proposed, but I had decided that simpler was better. I told her I loved her no matter what, and asked if she would marry me. She said yes, and I slid the ring out of my pocket and onto her finger. She said Yes, yes, yes, yes, and tried her best to hug me. She said she couldn't hug me that well, so we climbed out of the car, and I held her, kissed her, and looked into her beautiful eyes. At one point in one of our embraces, she prayed and I prayed, committing our relationship to God. I committed to being there for her, to love her, and provide for her. We laughed, we cried, and we were engaged.

One of her nephews had told me, secretly, that I should marry Sandy. So we decided we wanted to go share the moment with him if he was still up. We called his mom, and yes he was up, so after a stop at Sonic, we headed over. We were met with three energetic but sick little boys. We called Hayden over and showed him the ring. He went crazy, saying he was gonna have another uncle, and pleased that he had kept his secret from his mom so well. We talked for a short time, then went home to show Sandy's mom. Since then we've had the joy of telling friends and family of our engagement, and watching eyes light up with the news.

I am grateful that God brought me someone as wonderful as Sandy, and I know we will have a wonderful engagement and marriage.

How's My Attitude?

So here I am. You've read how I got to where I am. At least I hope you've read it. ;) And I am faced with a new chapter about to open. I anticipate getting engaged to Sandy soon, with a wedding in the spring. I anticipate moving to Arlington so we can drive less and see each other more often. And I intend to get involved more with her church (my church) in Burleson. Lots of transition. Lots of stress. But God is on His throne, He is just, and He is fair.


I've been listening and watching lots of Joyce Meyer lately. She's been convicting me of having negative attitudes, and I am working on building a more positive attitude. Her teaching on a responsible attitude really hit me, as I've been struggling at work to maintain a good attitude in the face of frustrations. I complain I don't have enough work. I complain that I have too much work. I complain that I have too much oversight. I complain that I don't have enough direction. See a theme? It seems everything I'm faced with leads me to complain. I know that no job is perfect. But God calls us to do good in the face of persecution and frustration. While I don't feel persecuted from without, I do sense some persecution from within.


I intend to rest well and be on time and accept all assignments joyfully. But I have a rough night, sleep in, and complain about the simplest of projects. Where's that enjoyment of life? Where's the contentment? Humility?


Pray for me as I seek to make some attitude changes. I've found myself looking down a lot. It's time to pull back on the stick and enjoy where God has me.


I am grateful for friends that have helped me process this in my life, and I'm grateful for Joyce Meyer and Christian tv stations. Together we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.


How's your attitude?

How Do You Turn a Meteorologist into a Missionary, Conclusion

In the Spring of 1995, I was finishing my last semester of Greek and continuing to explore various ministry opportunities. A friend of mine was preparing to go on an internship with Pioneer Bible Translators to Papua New Guinea. I had no idea how radically my life was about to change. He encouraged me to attend their training program, called Pioneer Mission Institute, being held that year at Dallas Christian College. I took time off from work and traveled to Dallas in a rental car.

The first couple days, I was overwhelmed with linguistics, as new terms and concepts bombarded my brain. I was used to picking things up quickly, but I felt out of place as others in the classes clearly knew far more than I. By Tuesday I was ready to give up. At lunch break I got in my car and started driving around, talking to God and searching my heart to see if I was truly where He wanted me. After much driving and processing, I promised God that I would stay the whole week and give myself time to decide what to do with these new experiences. This would be a pivotal moment in my life.

That evening, the West Africa Branch made its presentation about their work and needs. God cut through all my fear and doubts and gave me a clear sign that I was to work on this team. I was in tears as I sought prayer from others for how best to proceed. The remainder of the week went much better, and I left with a profound sense of peace and direction.

They announced that there would be an internship to West Africa the following year, and I committed to being on that team. I was confident that I could receive training and do whatever role God called me to. But I was concerned that I would be unable to survive and thrive in Africa. I had to experience it to see for myself just what I was getting into.

God provided for me to go on that trip with just enough support. It would prove to be a theme for later years. I spent two months in a small African country, learning language, meeting missionaries, and getting an accurate picture of the life that was unfolding before me. I knew by the end that I would never survive on my own in a remote village. I would need to work alongside a family if I had any hope of being effective. I left with a vision of what I had to do, and I trusted that God would provide when I was ready.

I finished another year of Bible college, then moved to Dallas to begin linguistic training. In those years I began to shift focus from translation to literacy, as many translation teams needed dedicated literacy specialists to assist them. When I was wrapping things up in 1999, I was asked to lead the intern team to West Africa. I accepted this responsibility and made preparations. This summer proved to be a defining moment in my life.

It was good to visit some of the same villages again and reconnect with the missionaries. I excelled at language learning, having recently taken the linguistic classes. I admit at times I functioned less like a leader or coach and more like an intern as I felt more prepared and able to handle things better than on my first internship. Things came into focus for me while we were in a small town, staying with a missionary family. He was the current Branch Director. He and I sat down one afternoon to discuss how I could best be used to help the Branch. As we discussed my abilities and the Branch's needs, we found a position in the capital, where I would be able to interact with several missionaries. I would manage the print shop, helping to prepare and publish Scripture and literacy portions in local languages, freeing up translators and literacy specialists to do more of what they had been trained and called to do. I returned home with a new focus and vision for my life.

I spent the next three years raising support, learning French and making final preparations to return to Africa. I was struggling to raise enough support to start full-time ministry, but I was able to go for a short-term trip in early 2002. I spent four months learning how the work was done and finding ways to improve upon it. Not only did I demonstrate to the Branch that I was the right man for the job, but I also returned that summer to find the additional support I needed to return in September full-time. When I set foot in Africa in September of 2002, I was a missionary! God had redeemed me, and I continue to walk in obedience to Him.