When is the Wedding?

I think that rates as the most frequently asked question since announcing our engagement just over a week ago. Take a moment to read my previous post if you haven't. It will help with this one.

I always thought that what my future bride wanted would be what my wedding would be like. I expected her to have detailed plans for the day, and I would just ask her what to wear, where to stand when, and when to say or do something. But I'm finding that Sandy wants it to reflect me as much as her. And I'm feeling overwhelmed by the cost.

Sandy is awesome, and I love her a great deal. But I find that talking about wedding options and preferences stresses me out. I want it to be what she wants, but rather than enjoy the excitement and just brainstorm, my mind can only think in numbers, especially money. I try my best to not ask, "How much will that cost?" with every idea. I know that we'll find ways to keep costs down and have an awesome wedding day, but I still feel unprepared for what's coming.

I suppose the biggest issue I have is that we both work for non-profits, and my current situation has me drawing a very minimal salary. I can mange basic expenses, but I certainly can't start saving for a wedding. And I want to. I really want to be socking away cash for that day so I can be sure that our day is everything we both want it to be. I can handle living on the cheap when it's just me, but I really want to provide for our needs. I know we have a God who loves us and cares about our deepest needs. But sometimes that's little comfort when you can't afford flowers for your beloved.

Before you start (or continue?) feeling sorry for me, let me stop and say that I chose to be in this situation, and I know that Sandy doesn't expect to me give her every little thing. I know she's just as content as I am doing what she loves. But a switch was thrown the day I realized I truly love her. From that day, I've wanted to give her flowers and other presents. I wanted to take her to nice restaurants or go out on the town. The fact that she doesn't expect those things makes me want to do it even more. And it makes me want to give her the wedding she wants.

I have to remind myself that I don't have to have all the money today. And I have time to find creative (read "free" or minimal expense) ways to make the day wonderful. And I'm prepared to sacrifice some things right now for other things in the future. That's what love does, and that's what I'll do. Because I love Sandy Baker. No matter what!

Oh, and we're thinking sometime in the spring, maybe March or early April.