I think that rates as the most frequently asked question since announcing our engagement just over a week ago. Take a moment to read my previous post if you haven't. It will help with this one.
I always thought that what my future bride wanted would be what my wedding would be like. I expected her to have detailed plans for the day, and I would just ask her what to wear, where to stand when, and when to say or do something. But I'm finding that Sandy wants it to reflect me as much as her. And I'm feeling overwhelmed by the cost.
Sandy is awesome, and I love her a great deal. But I find that talking about wedding options and preferences stresses me out. I want it to be what she wants, but rather than enjoy the excitement and just brainstorm, my mind can only think in numbers, especially money. I try my best to not ask, "How much will that cost?" with every idea. I know that we'll find ways to keep costs down and have an awesome wedding day, but I still feel unprepared for what's coming.
I suppose the biggest issue I have is that we both work for non-profits, and my current situation has me drawing a very minimal salary. I can mange basic expenses, but I certainly can't start saving for a wedding. And I want to. I really want to be socking away cash for that day so I can be sure that our day is everything we both want it to be. I can handle living on the cheap when it's just me, but I really want to provide for our needs. I know we have a God who loves us and cares about our deepest needs. But sometimes that's little comfort when you can't afford flowers for your beloved.
Before you start (or continue?) feeling sorry for me, let me stop and say that I chose to be in this situation, and I know that Sandy doesn't expect to me give her every little thing. I know she's just as content as I am doing what she loves. But a switch was thrown the day I realized I truly love her. From that day, I've wanted to give her flowers and other presents. I wanted to take her to nice restaurants or go out on the town. The fact that she doesn't expect those things makes me want to do it even more. And it makes me want to give her the wedding she wants.
I have to remind myself that I don't have to have all the money today. And I have time to find creative (read "free" or minimal expense) ways to make the day wonderful. And I'm prepared to sacrifice some things right now for other things in the future. That's what love does, and that's what I'll do. Because I love Sandy Baker. No matter what!
Oh, and we're thinking sometime in the spring, maybe March or early April.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Will You Marry Me?
Will you marry me?
I had decided that I was content with being single. But six months ago, God brought Miss Sandy Lynn Baker into my life, and it changed forever. We were certain that we would eventually marry. We took turns being cautious and aggressive as things developed. The first weekend of September 2009, things came to a turning point.
My parents were passing through on their move from Washington to Florida. Friday night they came over to my place, and we started talking. At one point I showed them the ring that Sandy and I had had made. We used materials from her mother's rings and my mother's rings to craft her engagement ring and my wedding band. Both my parents thought it was beautiful, and so pleased that the diamonds worked well together. Randy asked why she wasn't wearing it yet. I came up with a line about how we were in no hurry, and I was trying to find the right words. He said, "will you marry me? Seems easy." It was at that moment that I began to wonder just what I was waiting for.
Sandy came over Saturday, and we spent the afternoon getting to know each other. I spent most of the day basking in the love of my mother and Sandy as the concerns and fears evaporated. We had a great time, and I was certain that I wanted to propose much sooner than I initially intended. After my parents went back to their hotel, Sandy and I discussed the day and reflected on some of the things my mom had said.
Sunday morning I decided to put the ring in my bag before leaving for church. I'd been going to Sandy's house after church to eat and just relax, eagerly waiting for football season to arrive. I knew that she would want me to propose in a more private setting, so I didn't bother to bring the ring inside. During the service, the pastor asked if I would be willing to share my story, how God redeemed me and my mission service. Being a missionary, I was prepared to do that, and gave an account of my conversion and a brief synopsis of my mission career. I'm glad that I got to do that on the day of our engagement, and I credit it to God that it even happened.
We went home after the service and were trying to decide what to do. I suggested we do some more questions, and maybe arrange to go see the sunset if possible. We've been working through the book "101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged". Sandy had recently assured me we didn't have to finish it before I asked, but I had hoped we would. We had to stop in the 90's to make dinner if we were going to make sunset.
Before leaving the house, I had taken the ring out of its box and put it in my pocket. Driving to the lake, the sky was gorgeous. I knew we would have an awesome sunset. As we pulled into a parking place overlooking the lake, the sun was just touching the horizon. We watched one of the best sunsets we've seen together, then sat there enjoying the moment. Sandy noticed my heart rate was up and asked if I was ok. I was doing my best to take deep calming breaths, but I figured she suspected. I started talking about how I had wanted to come up with the perfect words to say to her before I proposed, but I had decided that simpler was better. I told her I loved her no matter what, and asked if she would marry me. She said yes, and I slid the ring out of my pocket and onto her finger. She said Yes, yes, yes, yes, and tried her best to hug me. She said she couldn't hug me that well, so we climbed out of the car, and I held her, kissed her, and looked into her beautiful eyes. At one point in one of our embraces, she prayed and I prayed, committing our relationship to God. I committed to being there for her, to love her, and provide for her. We laughed, we cried, and we were engaged.
One of her nephews had told me, secretly, that I should marry Sandy. So we decided we wanted to go share the moment with him if he was still up. We called his mom, and yes he was up, so after a stop at Sonic, we headed over. We were met with three energetic but sick little boys. We called Hayden over and showed him the ring. He went crazy, saying he was gonna have another uncle, and pleased that he had kept his secret from his mom so well. We talked for a short time, then went home to show Sandy's mom. Since then we've had the joy of telling friends and family of our engagement, and watching eyes light up with the news.
I am grateful that God brought me someone as wonderful as Sandy, and I know we will have a wonderful engagement and marriage.
I had decided that I was content with being single. But six months ago, God brought Miss Sandy Lynn Baker into my life, and it changed forever. We were certain that we would eventually marry. We took turns being cautious and aggressive as things developed. The first weekend of September 2009, things came to a turning point.
My parents were passing through on their move from Washington to Florida. Friday night they came over to my place, and we started talking. At one point I showed them the ring that Sandy and I had had made. We used materials from her mother's rings and my mother's rings to craft her engagement ring and my wedding band. Both my parents thought it was beautiful, and so pleased that the diamonds worked well together. Randy asked why she wasn't wearing it yet. I came up with a line about how we were in no hurry, and I was trying to find the right words. He said, "will you marry me? Seems easy." It was at that moment that I began to wonder just what I was waiting for.
Sandy came over Saturday, and we spent the afternoon getting to know each other. I spent most of the day basking in the love of my mother and Sandy as the concerns and fears evaporated. We had a great time, and I was certain that I wanted to propose much sooner than I initially intended. After my parents went back to their hotel, Sandy and I discussed the day and reflected on some of the things my mom had said.
Sunday morning I decided to put the ring in my bag before leaving for church. I'd been going to Sandy's house after church to eat and just relax, eagerly waiting for football season to arrive. I knew that she would want me to propose in a more private setting, so I didn't bother to bring the ring inside. During the service, the pastor asked if I would be willing to share my story, how God redeemed me and my mission service. Being a missionary, I was prepared to do that, and gave an account of my conversion and a brief synopsis of my mission career. I'm glad that I got to do that on the day of our engagement, and I credit it to God that it even happened.
We went home after the service and were trying to decide what to do. I suggested we do some more questions, and maybe arrange to go see the sunset if possible. We've been working through the book "101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged". Sandy had recently assured me we didn't have to finish it before I asked, but I had hoped we would. We had to stop in the 90's to make dinner if we were going to make sunset.
Before leaving the house, I had taken the ring out of its box and put it in my pocket. Driving to the lake, the sky was gorgeous. I knew we would have an awesome sunset. As we pulled into a parking place overlooking the lake, the sun was just touching the horizon. We watched one of the best sunsets we've seen together, then sat there enjoying the moment. Sandy noticed my heart rate was up and asked if I was ok. I was doing my best to take deep calming breaths, but I figured she suspected. I started talking about how I had wanted to come up with the perfect words to say to her before I proposed, but I had decided that simpler was better. I told her I loved her no matter what, and asked if she would marry me. She said yes, and I slid the ring out of my pocket and onto her finger. She said Yes, yes, yes, yes, and tried her best to hug me. She said she couldn't hug me that well, so we climbed out of the car, and I held her, kissed her, and looked into her beautiful eyes. At one point in one of our embraces, she prayed and I prayed, committing our relationship to God. I committed to being there for her, to love her, and provide for her. We laughed, we cried, and we were engaged.
One of her nephews had told me, secretly, that I should marry Sandy. So we decided we wanted to go share the moment with him if he was still up. We called his mom, and yes he was up, so after a stop at Sonic, we headed over. We were met with three energetic but sick little boys. We called Hayden over and showed him the ring. He went crazy, saying he was gonna have another uncle, and pleased that he had kept his secret from his mom so well. We talked for a short time, then went home to show Sandy's mom. Since then we've had the joy of telling friends and family of our engagement, and watching eyes light up with the news.
I am grateful that God brought me someone as wonderful as Sandy, and I know we will have a wonderful engagement and marriage.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
How's My Attitude?
So here I am. You've read how I got to where I am. At least I hope you've read it. ;) And I am faced with a new chapter about to open. I anticipate getting engaged to Sandy soon, with a wedding in the spring. I anticipate moving to Arlington so we can drive less and see each other more often. And I intend to get involved more with her church (my church) in Burleson. Lots of transition. Lots of stress. But God is on His throne, He is just, and He is fair.
I've been listening and watching lots of Joyce Meyer lately. She's been convicting me of having negative attitudes, and I am working on building a more positive attitude. Her teaching on a responsible attitude really hit me, as I've been struggling at work to maintain a good attitude in the face of frustrations. I complain I don't have enough work. I complain that I have too much work. I complain that I have too much oversight. I complain that I don't have enough direction. See a theme? It seems everything I'm faced with leads me to complain. I know that no job is perfect. But God calls us to do good in the face of persecution and frustration. While I don't feel persecuted from without, I do sense some persecution from within.
I intend to rest well and be on time and accept all assignments joyfully. But I have a rough night, sleep in, and complain about the simplest of projects. Where's that enjoyment of life? Where's the contentment? Humility?
Pray for me as I seek to make some attitude changes. I've found myself looking down a lot. It's time to pull back on the stick and enjoy where God has me.
I am grateful for friends that have helped me process this in my life, and I'm grateful for Joyce Meyer and Christian tv stations. Together we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.
How's your attitude?
I've been listening and watching lots of Joyce Meyer lately. She's been convicting me of having negative attitudes, and I am working on building a more positive attitude. Her teaching on a responsible attitude really hit me, as I've been struggling at work to maintain a good attitude in the face of frustrations. I complain I don't have enough work. I complain that I have too much work. I complain that I have too much oversight. I complain that I don't have enough direction. See a theme? It seems everything I'm faced with leads me to complain. I know that no job is perfect. But God calls us to do good in the face of persecution and frustration. While I don't feel persecuted from without, I do sense some persecution from within.
I intend to rest well and be on time and accept all assignments joyfully. But I have a rough night, sleep in, and complain about the simplest of projects. Where's that enjoyment of life? Where's the contentment? Humility?
Pray for me as I seek to make some attitude changes. I've found myself looking down a lot. It's time to pull back on the stick and enjoy where God has me.
I am grateful for friends that have helped me process this in my life, and I'm grateful for Joyce Meyer and Christian tv stations. Together we can make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.
How's your attitude?
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