How was your Christmas?

My tree is down. Presents are in use or safely stored somewhere. And I realize that this Christmas marks a turning point, much as most of the past year has done. I think that from now on, Christmas won't be the same. But first, a summary of Christmas 2009.

It was a white Christmas. A rarity for Dallas/Fort Worth, but it happened. It snowed a good part of Christmas Eve day, and it hung around for a bit on Christmas. It was my first Christmas engaged. Never been engaged before. And that status allowed me to gain access to my beloved's family activities.

They gathered at Mom's house Christmas Eve to exchange presents. Joe, Becky and Brennan; Aunt Judy; Sarah, Hayden and Tyler; Mom, Sandy and I all gathered around the tree. We said a prayer, and the gifts were slowly disbursed, from youngest to oldest, allowing each person to show off their gift and allow the others to admire it. We had agreed to focus on gifts for the kids, as money was tight all around. Still, there were a few presents given to the parents, too. Soon the room was filled with torn wrapping paper and opened boxes. Toys were clutched in little hands, and words of thanks were spread around the room.

Time came for dinner to be served. Turkey and the trimmings were set before us, and soon the air was filled with laughter as Christmas memories were brought to life. Memories of people no longer with us. Memories of simpler times. We all had our fill and cleared the table as toys resurfaced and the fire was stoked. People left as concern for the weather and roads prompted a hasty exodus. A 30-minute trip home turned into a several-hour ordeal as Joe, Becky and Brennan found the roads to be worse than they thought. I helped Aunt Judy get her motorized cart into her van and safely on her way for her short drive home. I learned later she would need help getting to her apartment because her van wouldn't release the scooter that was placed inside it. I had planned ahead and was prepared to spend the night, avoiding the traffic and sharing Christmas Day with my beloved, Sandy.

A night of tossing and turning gave way to a morning of happy boys, as they realized that Santa had come! More gifts and toys that had come from grandparents awaited their small hands . Oh the paper and boxes again covered the floor! Batteries were inserted or charged, and sounds of laughter arose again. It was all for them, and it was a joy to see them caught up in the avalanche of fun.

Witnessing all these gifts being opened and enjoyed led me to consider some of my Christmases past. As I thought back over my 40 years, only a few moments truly stood out. The first year we spent Christmas with my mom and step-dad and learned of his tradition to make stockings from panty hose filled with nuts, candy and presents. They were six feet long and tied to the banister! An impressive sight for a boy of 13 or so. Then I remembered the year, when I was much younger, that I hadn't bought a present for my step-mother. I had found something in a cabinet, wrapped it up, and claimed it was a new gift. This gift didn't cost me anything, and to this day I struggle to understand why I did what I did. There were other Christmases I recall being alone. Perhaps I went somewhere for dinner, and perhaps they had a simple gift for me. But I was very much alone. I know I was last year.

Ah! But as I said, I am engaged, and next Christmas, when we are husband and wife, we will still gather Christmas Eve for family Christmas. But then Christmas morning 2010, Sandy and I will awake to the start of our own Christmas, with some borrowed and some new traditions for how to spend the day. We will remember the first Gift - God's Son given to man - so that man could once again have a relationship with his Creator. And we will reflect on how much He loves us, and how much we love our family. And whether there is one gift to open or twenty, we will be grateful for His gift to us, and the gift that we are to each other.

And that is a Christmas memory I won't soon forget!

Where did the time go?

Most modern technology was created to help Americans save time. Kitchen appliances are supposed to make Mom's (or Dad's) job easier or faster. Access to the internet was to make the exchange of information faster. Cars were designed and improved to travel farther and faster. So where is all this time going? Weren't we promised more time for leisure activities or family time?

We all seem to be living increasingly crowded lives, yet we don't crowd them with relationships. We've limited human interaction so transactions go faster. Why go in the bank when you can use the ATM? Or stay in your car so you don't bump into anyone! At home, microwave ovens have sped up meal preparation, but what happened to the interaction with our moms when we were kids. Watching her make something. Asking questions. Playing a game while we waited for something to cook.

Instead of using our time to interact and invest in one another, we're working later or scheduling more activities, often spreading our family out to various venues. TV schedules force us to cut short our conversations, or we squeeze it into a 3-minute commercial break. DVR's actually add to the problem, as now you can fill all your time and watch shows in chunks as you have moments.

Rather than walk or take public transportation, we climb into our private carriages and navigate the streets. We forget there are other people in those boxes, and we consider it normal to react in ways that we would never act to another person. We've isolated ourselves so much we don't know how to interact when face to face with a stranger.

So what is our response? What can we do to take back or redeem our time? How do we renew social contact with our fellow man? It was a gradual slide, so we need a gradual rise back to connection.

Smile. Our fast-paced lives don't allow for much, so we should simply smile more. Show those around you that you recognize their humanity. You can add a wave, too, if you can manage it.

Ask someone about their day. Then listen to their response. I've used this as I work at Chick-fil-A. Many people's countenance changes when someone expresses interest in them. When someone asks you, move beyond "Fine." Be vulnerable. Explain why your day is fine. Or share where you're struggling. Who knows; you might make a friend!

Use your conveniences to build relationships, not do more "stuff." Many time-saving devices can be used to help build relationships instead of allowing us to cram our schedules full. Save time in one area so you can spend it meaningfully with someone else.

If we all take small steps, we can go a long way toward drawing closer together.